I need a tv reality show

People are always saying I need to be on a reality show.....

I am a single mother of two with a girlfriend who is raising her paranoid schizophrenic sister's two children with her ex-partner going through a custody battle and spending way to much time together..in my jealous opinion :) My son is wild and demanding, her son is sweet and manners patrol, my daughter is funny and sensitive, and her daughter is cute, tiny and whiny. We have separate homes and between the two a tree frog, two geckos, a rat, some lizards and recently threw in a three foot long corn snake and five month old German Shepherd named Xena. My girl's mother likes to spice things up by coming around calling us names, saying I am pure evil, and the next minute saying bye, love ya and leaving me saying "What the hell just happened" and Honey saying "Good job babe not going off on her" My babbies daddy does come get the kids half the time, but sometimes I feel like I am raising them with his mother.
I have no real structure or schedule, always doing stuff by the seat of my pants, Tracy feels nervous if she is not structured or stable. Tracy cleans her house and gives the kids a bath everyday....I forgot to...most days. My house is like a bachelor pad and hers is clean and in order. She has been at the same job or line of work since I met her in 1995, I have had about 33 jobs since 1995 from dishwasher to accountant to real estate agent to babysitter to construction cleanup, mcdonalds clerk, and HRpayroll and benefits, to installing barbed wire fences, and more.